lady, my lady, my precious everything,
there I say so long, with whats left of my strength I wave goodbye, holding myself up and watching you fading into the crowd... with a smudge of whats left of hope and faith whispering deep inside that you'll be back...
back into our own world, with its good and bad, with whatever we have grown and lived on, back to start that glorious life we have dreamed about... forming memories that will make it worth telling...
probably one of the most difficult decisions we ever made is to go for this solution, and thinking how much it sucks though its still needed...
watching you packing was torture, stuffing our memories there into your small bags taking it home was unbearable, having that yellow smile on my face that hides hundreds of unsaid words was my way of showing support... where i all i could think of is... whats next?
i envision whats next into two very different sights...
One as the first time i walked into that room after i dropped you off, amazing how a room so packed with stuff can still feel so sad and lonely... there where you had your naps after a hard working day, there where you had your earrings laying on that stand, your shoes hiding under that table, your cloths all over (tidily packed of course), your perfume scent in the air, and your spirit making that place alive...
Every corner of that house is missing your touch, the way you put things around, the way you yell for every mis-placed sock running away from you :) the way you make me buy and eat those vegetables :) the way you make sure i have my lunch box in the morning :)
Now am left with fast food, left with those vegetables packed in my fridge getting raw, left with what so called free time that makes it easier to start thinking things over and harder to think about us... left with those memories stacked in my head getting so special and much more beautiful... left with your embroidered little pillow staring up at me sadly in wonder of where have you gone
and as the music plays around, i miss that moment that we share cruising around and singing in laughter, now the streets looks empty in this dead city but from some stupid drivers unleashing their car horns shouting at me to move on and get going...
The second sight is the one that i can't even dare to start thinking about, as beautiful as it might look it would be stupid of me to over look this reality and start putting blocks on the clouds
Thank you RJ for the greatest gift, those 11KGs baby of your cloths that i had to take back with me home :)
with love
momani
